As I try to say something on the issue of depression, I start to realize how powerful the stigma surrounding depression is. It’s hard to write – even anonymously. Why is that?
We live in a culture of self-promotion. We want everyone to recognize that we’re a great alpha male or alpha female that (some of these depend on what age group you fall into, or what social circles you’re part of):
– has an abundance of resources, stemming from a great job, for things like:
– having a really nice crib/home/mansion with a view and all the best accessories
– having a sweet ride
– eating at fancy or exotic places
– taking fantastic vacations and experiencing foreign culture
– has a strong, healthy, sexy body
– has a perfect, loving family, in which…
– …we are vice free
– is perceived to be a good/spiritual/kind person
– that, ultimately, we have the means to do whatever we please; that we’re a force in this world.
In the social climate we live in, to admit that something is WRONG, or not going the way it should, is to take your name off the list for this candidacy of having a perfect life. That we’re someone to be pitied by those who have A,B, and C.
While all of the things mentioned above are blessings, it’s so easy to fall into coveting what we don’t have.
Instead of envy or self-pity (even self-loathing) – we could consider the words of author James Baldwin:
“Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.”
Promoting a culture of loving one another rather than envying one another makes it okay to not have the mansion or the car. Self love or love for a spouse might encourage us to eat right and exercise, but such a love should also make us comfortable in our own skin. Instead of envying neighbors who seem to have the perfect spouse and kids, an active love (spending time together, support, tough love, calm conversation, generosity, even making laughter) may be the change needed to help someone with burned bridges, depression, or addiction.
A culture of love makes it okay – even GOOD to share when one is feeling down – or dealing with a long-term, full-on case of depression. We learn to help each other.
Finally, some links to videos surrounding depression and finding happiness: